I crave...
- salt and vinegar
- hugs and kisses
- hot baths
- cold drinks
- warm milk
- chocolate cookies (only Keebler's and Famous Amos, no substitutes)
- Marks & Spencers' snackies. Prawn cocktail, salt&vinegar chips, bacon rashers, etc.
- the Mitsubishi Lancer that has gone away
- the comfort of your own private ride (I got pushed BADLY yesterday on the train because some STUPID woman wanted to snatch my seat the moment I stood up.)
- to move into my new place asap with no fuck-ups
- for 3 weeks to pass by quickly so I can go ultrasound my kid again
- to strike lottery, although I have only bought it ONCE in my entire life
- more food, more food, more food
good morning!
QUESTION: Which idiot wakes up at 8am after a night of sleazy partying til 2am, followed by 2 hours of hot sex?
ANSWER: Me. (Geez...)
Update @ 11.33am:
Ok, ok. Quit the hollering. Pregnant women can go have a wild night out on town too. Especially if they are just recently impregnanted. Some people should know better. *wink*
Last night was my farewell to the clubbing scene. I'd still be secretly dancing at home though. The doctor says it's good to get some exercise, but nothing too vigorous. Sex should be fine too because I'm not experiencing any complications like bleeding or fever.
So with breakfast now snug within my digestive juices, I am going back to bed. Pregnant women should have a lot of rest. Hubs is sleeping too anyway.
On a melancholic note, the car is going away today. Approximately in about 10 minutes' time. It's going to someplace far far away and not coming back ever again. Unless we find it in a second-hand car sales garage and buy it back again. (Which would be dumb because by that time this Mitsubishi Lancer would be at least a third-hand because we bought it second-hand. Not to mention who sells a car just to buy it back again?)
One should always look towards the future and aim for the cute and cheap Kia Picanto.
Yeah! We're going to Bugis for Smelly Beancurd today!
nothing to do?!
Today is one of those days when there seems to be nothing to surf online and I'm feeling too lazy to do anything.
Maybe now is the time to start on those jewellery pieces.
SEXPO lessons
SEXPO was lame. As said earlier. Given the uptightness of our governing officials, how can we expect kinky exhibitions like what they have in westernised countries?
I almost wanted to throw rotten eggs, and whatever foul-smelling things I could lay my hands on, at the stupid male emcee who was talking about what kind of bikinis women should wear. Hello? A man? Talking about women's figures and what type of bikinis they should avoid? The organiser definitely has NO BRAINS. And this emcee is not some Brad Pitt type of drool-worthy male, he's just some random Malay/Indian fella who speaks BAD BAD English and cracks LAME LAME jokes.
And the behaviour of Singapore men we saw at the SEXPO, particularly the elderly, seriously puzzled Hubs and I...
This photo was taken at the "House of Condoms" stall. At this angle, you can't really see the whole crowd, but lemme tell you, the number of people here aren't even half of the whole gang of curious pervs. Pity I couldn't take any photos of the massive crowd because it was so crowded that I only managed to take shots of random pervs' heads.
There were SO MANY MEN just crowding at the vibrator/dildo section. Almost HALF of the men were aged over 50! They were contenting themselves picking up and scrutinizing each and every interesting looking sex toy and then putting it back. Probably only 1 out of 20 men there bought something, and I can swear it's not the high-end expensive imported toys.
Like hello? Why are you all crowding there? Not buying then don't stand there and block the way and view of potential buyers, you perverted cheapskates. If you want to ogle at the sexy porn stars on the sex toy packaging, go download the videos online. They can move, suck, fuck and are usually naked throughout the video. And you can wank off as well. Go now and fuck off.
It just makes me wonder WHY these men are SO interested in the toys. Is it because they know that they suck in bed and are seeking help to pleasure their long-suffering women? And those uncles? Do they also want to improve their wifes' pleasure? Or are they just what we call "sua koo", wanting to see what these funny contraptions do?
These men look at sex toys like they've never seen them before, even though the whole Geylang and even heartland areas are littered with shops selling novelty items and sex toys. And seriously, our local men are too stingy to buy something which doesn't give them pleasure. The only thing they might buy are those rubber vaginas that aid in masturbation, which they probably still won't buy because others who see their purchases will think they don't have a sex life and that no woman wants them. Which is true, I guess.
In this picture, we have the majority of the men (read: elderly men who probably cannot have a regular sex life no more) on the left side of the photo who are rushing to collect (or should I say snatch) their FREE Vicon samples. Vicon is this vibrating condom that's sold in 7-11s and supermarkets. It's actually quite misleading because the condom itself doesn't vibrate, but the cock-ring that comes with it does. You're supposed to put on the condom, and then the ring. Switch it on, and VOILA! Vibrating cock! Pity the battery in the ring only lasts around 15 minutes max. But if they did make the battery last any longer, the company would probably run out of business cos no one would buy any new ones from them.
Think the product sounds amazing? Well, it isn't. Hubs and I tried it months ago when we chanced upon it at Mustafa. The ring is uncomfortable and it is quite hard to position the vibrating part of the ring directly at the clit to pleasure the woman. And Hubs says the vibrating makes his cock go numb after the session, which means the climax would have been less, erm, earth-shattering.
Anyway, back to the old men collecting freebies. Why would they want vibrating condoms? Even if they can still get it up, would their wives still want to have sex? Even if they can do it with other women (read: geylang), why would they want to pleasure them? Ewwww... It makes me shudder in utter disgust thinking about it.
I'm not saying that the aged cannot and should not have sex, but please make it less blatant. These men are just IN YOUR FACE trying to show that they still have active sex lives. But seriously, they DO show bountiful energy when running up to the poor exhibition staff to get their freebies. They really RAN. Not like the wind, but how often do you see packs of aged 50 over men RUNNING to collect free condoms? It really was a laugh.
In conculsion, SEXPO sucked. The organisers did a bad job including every mundane thing vaguely sex-related (but had nothing exceptionally sexual) in the exhibition, the decor was bad (if there even WAS any decor), the programmes were unexciting and the emcees were lousy. The stalls, I shan't even mention anything about them except PUI. I don't understand why only House of Condoms was the only sex shop there when there are BETTER stocked shops like U4RIA (pronounced Euphoria) in Singapore. Must have been that the organisers were arseholes that's why no one signed up for it. I heard from one of my friends who was working at the SEXPO that Oohtique had their goods impounded on the first day of the exhibition. Go to Oohtique's website and take a look, they have classy sexy stuff, not the sleazy types that House of Condoms have, and still their goods were banned. Like why?! Must have been some internal disagreement. We all know how "the people up there" can be biased bastards. Oohtique is run by a couple of caucasian ladies, so maybe that's where the biasedness came in?
If there is a next time for SEXPO, you people better put up some sexy programmes with less Malays and have more stalls that actually sell blatant sex products. Like IN YOUR FACE sex products. But judging by the horrid flop this year's exhibition was, I think this SEXPO thing better be banned from here on.
By the way, pics are here.
food cravings
I am feeling strong desires for savoury foods. I don't want no snacks, I want actual FOOD. I am feeling for Kway Chap, salted vegetables, smelly beancurd at Bugis, pig's organ soup (with extra salted veggies please), chee cheong fun, shishamo, fried tofu at Chinatown, cheese knackers at that Ang-Moh's stall at Chinatown, the yummy fried dumpling (guo tie) along Nathan Road in Hong Kong, fried pig's intestines at Geylang, smoked salmon caeser salad at Prinsep Street's Mr Bean, cheese munchers at Cafe Cartel, cold tofu at that Taiwanese porridge place near Indoor Stadium, while we're there, I also want the braised pig's intestines with preserved veggies. Thank you.
果汁
猪肠粉
臭豆腐
猪杂汤
咸菜
炸豆腐
冷豆腐
炸大肠
大肠菜尾
锅贴
半夜有没有外卖 huh?
slow slow slow
I hate how my laptop slows down to a snail's crawl whenever I use Limewire with this shitty Singnet dial-up. Sucks.
Someone save me from this crap of a hassle by buying these albums for me:
- Mariah Carey - Emancipation of Mimi
- Ministry of Sound - Dance Nation
- Black Eyed Peas - Monkey Business
- Every single Michael Buble CD available
That's that for now. I miss the high-speed broadband at my dad's place.
becoming my mother
So how true is it that we become more like our parents as we grow older? Shockingly, it is very true for me.
As someone who never had the eye (or coordination skills) for handicrafts, I have been experimenting with different forms of handiwork, and surprisingly, the results have been quite acceptable.
My mother, from as far back as I can remember, was someone who would sit on the couch for hours on end doing a cross-stitch or knitting something for one of us. In the recent years before her death, she was crazy over making crystal jewellery. She would churn out necklaces, bracelets, rings and other little ornaments on a daily basis. She did them as if her life depended on it (though that wasn't the case). In the end, we had so many of her creations that we had to stow them away in a BIG plastic container in the storeroom.
Am I becoming my mother? I shudder to think that. My mother wasn't exactly the most appealing personality around, and her lonesome character was accompanied by spools of thread, needles and other handicraft accessories. The difference between my mother and me is almost akin to the vast distinction between a desert and a forest. Other than the fact that we're both female, that is.
Recently, I have taken to adorning my nails a shade of bright red I would formerly avoid like the plague. Red is not my colour. Or so I used to think. Until Hubs gave the approving nod and bought me my FIRST bottle of RED nail polish. He likes the seductive vixen it brings out in me, and I like how it makes me feel like a matured confident woman. On hindsight, no other nail colour has ever made me feel this way before.
This shade of red, I believe, would make my mother go green with envy as she is such a sucker for red/fuchsia nail colours. Although I must say that she was horridly lacking the expertise at painting her own nails. The colours were always splotchy because she didn't brush the strokes in one uniformed direction. She didn't have the patience to wait for it to dry before putting on the next coat. And worst of all, she never had the decency to protect her nails with a good base and top coat. No matter how many times I had screamed at her horridly painted nails, she would repeat the same mistakes again. She always made me wonder if she was just plain stubborn, or she just didn't want to take MY advice because I was her child.
In the end, I would always end up doing her manicures and pedicures in her favourite garish shades that I never foresaw I would one day adore on my own digits. *shudders*
Becoming a shadow of your parents' image can be spine-tingling once you realise how similar you actually have become. *melodramatic wail* Oh, the horror!
Well, at least I am still the only one in my family who is capable of tinkling a proper tune on the piano. Oh, and no one else can dance either. The rest of my family are quite tone-deaf or rhythm-confused. They can never quite catch the right beat or pitch. *sighs in self consolation*
random ramblings
** As the title suggests. If you're not keen to read about my personal thoughts that are streaming through my head like a really high-speed internet broadband, please do yourself a favour and scroll on. **
So now I'm pregnant. Again. Not that it ain't good, but this time round things are really different.
This baby is planned. So we're definitely keeping it unless the unforseen should happen. My sleep cycles are FUCKED and I'm having trouble quitting smoking. I'm cutting down, but not significantly enough. Maybe on the next gynae trip I'll bring it up to the doc. Don't know if I am allowed to take any nicotine gum or anything, but I'll try it if the doc says it's okay.
Linked to this comes the monetary issue of things. I've been fired, but we still don't know if the company will want me to pay them back for the days which I wasn't working. That would be a substantial amount, trust me. And it would bring along with it, a BIG headache. But we won't know until the HR letter gets into my mailbox. So that's that for now.
We're running low on budget for the house. We've still got the balance amount to pay up for the bed and TV console. And that totals up to $1003.95. A big amount if you ask me. That's almost equivalent to a month's pay and we don't have it. Not to mention the little knick-knacks that comes with a new house. Bamboo poles for drying clothes, hangers, bathroom mats, bedsheets, detergents... Arrgh. The list is almost endless. Which reminds me, we haven't bought dustbins yet.
I was anticipating my trip to the gynae this Friday, until I was reminded by the lack of balance in my bank account that I would have some shitty-fuck trouble PAYING for the darn visit. I would need about $150, and I don't have that much to spare at the moment. Not until Hubs gets his paycheck anyway. Maybe I should ask him if he can request for an early cheque release. They all know we're expecting and that we have a house on the way too.
I think I'll start making jewellery for sale again as well. Some bits of money to help with the expenses. I just hope that there's a market for it. I have no idea where to sell them, but I guess I can start with posting them up here and selling them here. At least that's the only thing I'm good for now. Finding part-time jobs need luck, and that's one thing I've never had.
Now the best that I can do is wait. Wait for his paycheck, wait for the house to be done. Meanwhile, call the furniture shops and ask for earlier delivery. Bleah. Just hope nothing crops up. The last thing I want is to move into an empty house.
I really hope that Dad can sell off his place as well, but guessing that the other party seems ok with the fact that Mum died IN the house, I think the deal is still on. I really don't want him to be stranded with no cash to turnover and no roof of his own. His girlfriend can be crap sometimes and I don't think he'll be pleased to be under her jurisdiction since he'll be staying with her in the meantime.
** Ramblings complete **
SEXPO was lame
Should have said this earlier, but SEXPO was lame. I've got pictures though. *Ahem* Sexually explicit pictures taken at the SEXPO. Later though, cos it's late and my mind is cluttered with all sorts of thoughts. Mainly plans and worries, I guess.
seeing little bundles of Joy
X'mas is coming soon. Not soon enough though, but mrbrown has gotten his present early! His third little bundle of joy has arrived.
When's mine gonna come along?
Out shopping with Puny Grace today, though it doesn't really qualify as shopping cos I didn't buy anything, and saw little kids running around the mall. They're not the irritating kind (thank God) but the cute little "walking dolls" that Hubs and I affectionately term them. They're so tiny that they just look like dolls.
I can't wait for mine to arrive, but I'm feeling really skeptical about the pain and all. But still, what's a little pain compared to a lifetime of joy and laughter? My lil bro is still so cute and lovable at 12 years old and he really dotes on us too, so I guess having our own child ain't that bad.
It'll be lovely, but we still gotta wait til July next year...
helping Hubs with his work
And so the good wife strikes again.
Being the ever-so-willing party to help her hubby complete a darned Power Point presentation for one of their clients. She even adapts to the analbolical standards of the Creative Director by making sure that ALL the headlines start at the SAME point. How's that for perfection?
By golly, I AM proud of myself.
mother-in-law issues
She doesn't like me. But not to worry, I don't like her either.
She's a obstinate mule in her ways and thinking and tries to raise us in such a patriarchal manner when in actual fact, she's the one who pulls the strings. Asking her husband for his opinion is only an act. Because whenever we ask him for his approval on anything, he would always say: "Go ask your mum."
She's like a traditional mum trying to break free but not daring to do it with too much angst lest she gets labelled as "misbehaving". Thus when it comes to me, my non-conforming ways that make Hubs go crazy for me, tortures his mother and results in her "losing face". Yet as a "loving" mother, she can't say anything to aggravate her daughter-in-law, so the only thing she does is to say it to EVERYBODY ELSE in the whole frickin' family tree.
So now nobody in the family tree likes me. Especially all the elders. Thankfully, the young families and couples in OUR generation, who feel as disagreeable about their parents' idea of the perfect family as we do, stand on the same side as us. And the grandchildren of these strictly traditional last generation family heads? They don't know any better, so I guess that's why they still like to play with us even though we've both got multiple piercings and obviously don't fit into the mould that our elders want us to fit into.
I am not just a wife, and my husband doesn't want me to be just a wife. I am to be his friend, lover, partner, wife, baby bearer, clothes washer, chef and any other role that he may want me to play. But the one thing he will never want me to be, and that I will NEVER ever be, is to be a submissive woman who tags behind him and conforms to all the regulations the world is going to impose on me. I will never be someone whom I'm not, and then end up having years of trauma piled on me, resulting in depression at an old age. THAT would be very sad indeed.
fired!
My SMS was sent at 8.22am. The team leader didn't reply until almost 10 minutes later.
"Hi, you don't have to come in today. HR will send you a letter informing you about your termination cos you have not been reporting to work n did not call in for more than 48 hrs."
Oh. So it was THAT easy to cross the lines and make them fire me. But didn't I tell her on Tuesday that I would be on MC for a week? Then on the consecutive days I didn't think there was a need to call in since I had already told her that I'll won't be in until the next Monday. But speaking in terms of exacticality, she ain't wrong to say that I didn't call in for more than 48 hours because from Wednesday til Friday is 72 hours.
Ok lor. So now it's all set in stone. I've got to start going over to my new place to check my mailbox.
furniture shoppping
Hubs is out at the house waiting for the lights to be delivered so that he can check and pay for them. I was supposed to go with him, but unfortunately could not wake up in time, so he left me at home to sleep. I think I may need more sleep than I thought I needed.
When he gets home, we're gonna head to IKEA and get most of our furnishings settled there. Kitchen cabinets, wardrobes, and knick-knacks like curtains, mirrors and shelvings. We'll probably spend about $2,500 there alone.
Looks like it's gonna rain later. No good, but we can't skip the crappy weather and just stay in cos the renovation is almost complete and it will definitely be done by end November, so we have GOT to sort out the furniture issues over the weekend because that's the only time when Hubs is free.
I'm starting to resent to fate that he's got to work until 10pm daily. And according to him, it's only going to get worse. =(
entertaining oneself
Hubs has been finishing work around 10pm everyday for this whole week. That's no good for family cohesiveness, but what to do? Daddy's got to bring the dough back for mummy and baby. So there.
Meanwhile, I've been coping with my one week MC by spending time with the all-knowing Myloh and tinkling with funky programs like Sound Studio. I've made a mix of 4 songs, but it doesn't sound very right. Hahaha... Got to cut me some slack, cos it's only the first time I'm actually using the program to mix songs. Once I get my act up and running, I'll post it up to share with you guys.
Come Monday, I'll be returning to the office. I'm almost prepared for an earful from my team leader and manager. I haven't been reporting to work and I haven't exactly told them that I'm on a week's MC. I should be feeling embarrassed, but I guess my skin's too thick to even feel that I'm being irresponsible.
Right now, being a responsible employee is the last thing on my mind. I've got furnishings to purchase, measurements to make, delivery dates to arrange, and on top of that, to prepare for our great move-in and my growing baby.
Here's requesting that if anyone has any home assignments like data entry or web-designing, please give me a holler. Babies need a lot of money, you know. Currently the only financial issue weighing heavily on my mind is how we're going to pay for my hospitalisation charges. The cheapest wards are at least $1,500 per night, and the worst thing is that my trusted gynae is based in Thompson and being a private hospital, charges are definitely going to be higher.
Sigh. The world's problems are almost always caused by money.
the rude ex
It was going to be his birthday soon, and since he was online on MSN, I took the rare opportunity to wish him a happy birthday. And his response? Nothing. No thank you, not a single reply from him.
The only thing he did was to close my conversation window. How would I know? Well, I'm using Adium, and as Adium users would know, you can SEE when someone closes the window or minimizes it.
So out of sheer frustration and anger, I just typed in "Ooi. You bloody rude leh. Cannot even say thank you meh?"
Then I saw that he was typing, and finally the response came.
"thank you"
Aiyah. Fuck off lah. People pissed off liao.
Instead of keeping to my wishes of best wishes and a happy relationship with his girlfriend, I now hope to see them break up. Bloody hell, I'm long gone from his life already, and yet I still hear his sister telling me that his girlfriend cannot stand me. Wah lau. I haven't even seen her since the first time we met more than a year ago. What the fuck did I do to you?
It's common that current girlfriends cannot stand ex-girlfriends, but in our case, what the fuck for? The obedient boyfriend has already changed his number and didn't even update me (though his sister and mother did give me his new number), and we've not even been contacting each other in ANY way. What is she jealous about? Because I prettier is it?! =p
numbers and more numbers
The past few days have been spent looking and re-looking at numbers. The costs of having our own place, sums of all the money we've spent so far, the amount that we'll need as time goes by. All the numbers are giving me unrested sleep at night.
Thankfully, I am glad to say that we are able to keep the whole renovation affair under $30K. That being inclusive of all the furnishings and miscellaneous as well.
More calculations of monthly expenses, in the event that I get fired from my employment. Numbers, numbers, numbers. But I am proud to say that once Hubby gets over his 3 months' probation and gets a pay raise, I can comfortably stay home and cultivate my growing belly. Having me as a housewife is not impossible as well. We just have to cut down all additional luxuries (internet and SCV not inclusive) and live simply, which isn't all that bad at all. Simplicity is always good.
Not to mention that having little extra money to spare means that we would be unable to spoil our child, which in the long run means our child grows up more balanced as well. The last thing I want is for my child to be as spoilt as my brother. That kid gets everything he ever wants. *bleah* That used to make me so jealous when I was younger.
So now with all the sums done, all that's left to do is to call the respective furniture stores and arrange for them to deliver my furniture between 5th to 10th of December. We should be comfortably settled in by the 3rd week of December!
~ I didn't want to ~
I wasn't intending to shout at you
but I did
not because I can't control myself
but because you couldn't be yourself
I hadn't wish for me
to say such horrible things
but you made me
but insisting that you are you
the worries of daily life
with the pressures of work
just compressed onto you
changed you into someone else
you felt no different
you thought no different
but you were
completely another man
if you must blame me
then do so
for that night of complete torture
but at least it worked to wake you up
so now you're back
being the man whom I love so dearly
if you fear yourself straying
I'll be here to remind you
my methods may be unorthodox
my words may sting
like salt on a wound
but each sentence is true like it is
just don't become
that person you so hate
and leave me shaking
with anger and disbelief
I didn't want to
but I did what I did
and in a way
I am glad
furniture shopping at Mustafa
I just bought a sofa from the Seahorse section in Mustafa. It's an L-shaped sofa and such a steal at only $369.50!
So next time when people comment on my nice sofa and ask me where I got it from, I will say with a grin: "Mustafa lor! They sell EVERYTHING there!"
Really lah. I am not lying. They sell EVERYTHING. (Except pork products, that is.)
bringing people together
Met myloh and puny Grace today for dinner, and I must say that the two of them hit off quite well!
Myloh looks like a hamster with his cheeks stuffed full of Carrefour pizza. That's not our dinner, if you were wondering, we had our proper meal at NYDC. He was the only fella eating the pizza. He bought it for himself anyway!
Myloh is like a Jack of all trades. He knows like EVERYTHING in this ENTIRE UNIVERSE. I was searching for a water heater to buy for my new place, and he was dispatching valuable bits of information to me about what kind to buy, what brand is better, blah blah blah. Hello, you're only 19, not 90, why you so damn smart huh? Everything you also know... *slaps forehead* I feel stupid around you, even worse cos you call me "sis" when I am nothing but a bimbo. =p
completely shagged
I have done nothing all day. But I still feel absolutely tired. From what, I don't know, but doc says that it's normal. In fact, suffering from tiredness is one of the "better" symptoms in early pregnancy compared to morning sickness, vomitting and giddiness as they are more detrimental to health.
Vomitting can lead to dehydration, thus affecting the foetus' growth. Giddiness is uncomfortable for the mother and may lead to accidents due to inability to concentrate. Whereas in my case, all I need is just rest.
I've been given a week's MC and I don't think my company is going to enjoy that. Neither am I. After calculations and all, I am starting to fear that we may not be able to sustain the family with only Hubs' pay. But he says only to worry when the time comes, because in 2 months' time, he should be getting a slight pay raise which will definitely help the situation.
Mother-in-law has declared that she will not be able to help me take care of the baby when he/she arrives, so the chance of me becoming a homemaker is relatively high. Mum has not been well, and with her foot in a cast, it will definitely cause her some problems in the later part of her life even if it fully recovers.
We're also selling away the car soon, so no more private transportation for me. =(
The monthly installments that we're paying for the car is just too high compared to the current automobile market. Mum says no point to keep it, since it has been giving us so much trouble anyway. Parts of the car are taking turns to break down, so it's time to sell it off.
Hubs and I are quitting smoking. Hubs is having a hard time as everyone in his company smokes, but he's holding on. He's not completely off the fags yet, but he's cutting down dramatically. Wish him luck!
date night with Hubs and the kid
when people change
So what happens when the person you fell in love with starts to become someone else completely?
In my case, I scream, yell, kick and slap the person to his senses until he realises with all the case examples that I've listed out that he really ain't the same man no more.
Thank God it worked.
My Hubs is back from stressed-up Advertising Land.
a slim chance, but we got it anyway
I've been on the pill ever since the last pregnancy, but last month I skipped the whole course altogether because we were too tied up with the house and stuff to go to the doctor's to get the pills.
And even though it's only ONE menstrual cycle, ONE ovulation period, ONE chance between that 6-12 hours when my egg is fertile... I'M PREGNANT!
It's quite a bit of a shock actually, given the fact that with only one cycle, the chance of getting pregnant should be very very low. Normal couples usually take 3-4 cycles to get pregnant, but we're so lucky! One time! My hubby damn fertile!!
Quick, say congrats!!
one night in Hubs' office
Hubs spent the whole of last night up and rushing work. Poor thing. And when you thought he could sleep tonight, here we are in his office, and he's working again.
All the time like that how to have a regular sex life?!
Lucky I got some last night before I went to bed while the poor baby went back to his work. =p
I am such an evil cunt.
So tonight I make it up by keeping him company at the office.
I'm not such a bad bitch after all.
first day on the job
I would presume that colleagues who commenced employment on the same day as me would have already had a day or two's experience handling cases, whereas today was my first. Ain't exactly a first since my team leader already gave me 5 simple cases to handle the Wednesday before this.
It isn't as difficult as I thought it might be. But then again, maybe it's because they're only being nice to the newbies at the moment.
Thankfully I didn't get too sleepy at work today, but I did get slightly pissed by my colleagues. They unanimously decided to head to Takashimaya for lunch, which is almost a 10 minutes' walk from our office building. And at the rate they usually amble along, we usually take around 15 minutes before we can even feel the air-conditioning in the shopping centre.
So today, I pulled a fast one the moment I knew they were lunching at Taka. I told them I had something to do, so I won't join them. Straight after we said our good-byes, I turned around and headed back to Orchard Cineleisure. We were already past Cineleisure when I found out where they were intending to go.
I withdrew some cash, and went to Long John's Silver for a relaxing lunch hour. I think I ate quite a bit too much. One "shrimp and chicken treasure meal" followed by "crispy shrimp and salsa cheese fries", washed down with a regular Coke. I have never had so much food at one sitting before. Particularly not at Long John's. But I guess it's because I didn't manage to have breakfast earlier.
Throughout my meal, I was secretly giggling to myself thinking about how the 3 girls would have packed their food from the Taka food court and end up eating by the fountain at Basement 2. They always do that because there are usually hardly any seats at the food court during lunch hour. Don't even know why they always want to go there. As for me, I enjoyed my food facing a wide stretch of green grass, with the birds and trees around me, whilst puffing through three cigarettes end on end and talking to Hubs on the phone...
So, who had a better lunch hour?
2 days' MC
I've got 2 days off from the gynae that I visited in the morning. As told earlier, I've been having nausea and vomitting, accompanied with random sharp pains in my lower abdomen area. Not to mention the need for lots and lots of sleep/rest. Imagine this, 24 hours straight I've been sleeping, and still I yawn and nod off to lala-land 3 hours after waking up. I must be one sleep deprived creature... Except that it's nothing like that at all. Even the gynae had commented on how tired I looked during the consultation. He just nodded to my reply and said there was a high chance that I'm pregnant.
To facilitate better rest, he gave me 2 days' MC so that I won't behave like a zombie at work. I don't think my higher management will like me very much after this whole endless MC stint. I've been calling in sick for 5 days (including tomorrow) since I started work. Not a very good record at all. Not to mention that I was late for almost an hour on my second day of work. ARGH. My company must hate me alot by now.
I'm hoping against hope that maybe they might just fire me. It's kinda evil, but I feel utterly bad about all the absences at work already, how to bring up the subject of resignation?
In any case, I have been known to be in very bad states when I'm pregnant. So come Monday, should I be tested positive for a baby, I know I'll be in for a long shitty ride. Hubs doesn't really want me to work if I'm pregnant, because he thinks it'll be very tiring for me. And it probably will be. Not to mention after the previous pregnancy, mum-in-law will probably want to keep me indoors to guarantee the safety of her grandchild.
So that's that. And now we shall wait with bated breath for the Monday to arrive.
feeling under the weather
I've been feeling tired. Walking feels like I'm dragging two pieces of stones. My back hurts. And there's some strange pulling sensation happening around my abdomen area. Even typing this entry now feels like I'm manuevering 10 tiny pieces of wood. Unresponsive and insensitive fingers.
Thought I could be pregnant, but did tests and they showed to be negative. Maybe it is too early to tell. Going to wait 2 weeks and see if the "red tide" comes. If not, time to test again.
I skipped work yesterday and was feeling so groggy that I couldn't even drag myself to the doctor's. I slept for a record time of 24 hours without even waking up for more than 5 minutes. There must be something wrong with me.
Later gotta go to the doc's and try and get an MC for Friday. I'll be fucked if I don't get it. Must be prepared for manager to screw me up BIG TIME. I am fucked.
Dinner with Karthy and Annie was good at Lemongrass. Never been there, but I was quite smitten with the prawn patties. Yum. I still owe them money for the meal. So not nice to meet up first time and then never pay for my share. =p
These two girls ah... So highly gossipy. I feel almost threatened that they will talk behind my back when I'm not there. But they seem like they have so much fun just chatting that it almost seems like it's bad if you don't let them do it.
I kinda like them both, even if they are tiny in size and make me feel like a giant just being around them.
the continuous stream of random babbling
I'm meeting Karthy for dinner in town today. By Golly, I am excited!
She's been reading my blog for some time and she's a colleague of Annie (the aspiring wife who reads my blog quite regularly as well), and it's the first time I'm meeting anyone who reads my blog. We were trying to contact Annie the whole of yesterday evening, but her phone was just never picked up. If you're reading this, we meeting at 7.30pm hor. You go call Karthy and check with her.
Karthy and I had been chatting intermittently via email for a couple of weeks after she left her first comment on my blog and we eventually swapped numbers. (Actually not true, because I gave her mine and she didn't give me hers until some days later.) From then on, we sms-ed on a daily basis just asking "how do you do" and stuff like that. Until I called her out of the blue after work yesterday.
Her response when picking up the phone was very friendly and not the least bit shocked that I called. It was almost as though she had been expecting me to make contact all this while. As if I've been a friend for a long time and I'm jusrt making a routine call to say hello.
We talked awhile about random personal topics and she told me that she was shopping at Singapore Expo because there's a Metro Warehouse Sale there. I jokingly scolded her for not telling me about it, and she like-mindedly scolded me back for not checking my email account recently. There was so much laughter between us that it almost seems as though we've been friends for ages. Everything just felt so comfortable. I just hope tonight's dinner goes in the same fashion.
This could be the start to a blooming friendship...
the submissive wife
So after 1.5 bowls of Kway Chap each, here we are, sitting in his office at Katong. He's busying designing his A1 posters and bus ads. Me, just randomly keying in a blog post.
All in all, I am just a wussy. So angry, yet I still gave way. I don't know what's gotten into my head ever since I got married. I have become, literally, a pussy.
Don't get me wrong, I do like being submissive in certain areas of my relationships Like *ahem* in bed. I think every woman has a yearning in them to be taken over and overwhelmed in terms of sexuality. I am definitely one of them. But sad to say, my sex life has been barely been in existence for the past 2 weeks. I am sexually depressed.
Maybe we should just have sex in the office right now. That'll be good way to kickstart Hari Raya. =p
But then again, if I disturb his work, he might just flare up again. *sigh* A long time ago, when we just got married, I had already foretold that once I start working full-time, our intimacy and communication will start going down the drain. Him being the busy fella with hardly any time for lunch (let alone sex), can rarely be sensitive enough to sense that I need some affection. In actual fact, I need a lot of affection. I thrive on hugs and kisses from the ones I love. So back then, when I was the one with plenty of free time, I sorted out the laundry, did what I please and at the end of his long day at work, pamper him and initiate contact.
Now, with our own work schedules and two baskets overflowing with dirty laundry, we barely have enough time to even check our email accounts for just 10 minutes. Everything just naturally falls into the categories of lower importance. It's not like we want to, but it just can't be helped. Running the rat race just keeps your vision blurred. What can you expect after going round and round on repetitive almost-daily cycles of work, lunch, work, dinner, sleep?
Although it is a public holiday, and we should be spending time bonding and enjoying each others' company (and bodies), he's here slogging away. I would love to push the blame to him for my plight of boredom here, and just walk away scot-free, but on hindsight, he's working hard for us. For our house, our lifestyle, our future. How can I have the heart to just leave him here alone?
This is the most I can do as a wife. To be here with him, as a pillar of strength and support, to shine on him in the darkest hours like a ray of light, to love him and be by his side. That is all I can do. And even though it doesn't sound like much, it can be quite difficult to repress your own desires and to just be the woman in the back. Especially for someone vocal and selfish like me. I always want things going MY way.
And now's the time, the wife in me takes over.
Can't say I like it, can't say I don't, because there's is a sense of contentment just knowing that you're doing your best as a partner. All I wish for now is that at the end of the day, Hubs gets the job done, and we can go back to the loving, doting couple surrounded with fun and laughter.
fucking pissed
Just when I got so angry in such a long time at Hubs, and wanted to blog my frustrations away, FUCKING Blogger dies on me. I keep trying to load the page and it just keeps saying "document contains no data". I don't think I can feel more pissed than this. I've possibly thrown up the worst ever since my pregnancy ended, filling the loo to the brim with greenish liquid because I'd just enjoyed a Venti Green Tea Frappe prior to feeling nauseous. The bus ride has probably made it worse. My feet felt so dead tired, due to what I don't know either, that I had to go to bed the moment I got home. I did no shopping, and I didn't walk long distances either, so I really have no idea what triggered the dead feet. I woke up at 4.30am. Just woke up. Didn't get disturbed by anything. Moments after waking from my sweet slumber, I felt a craving for Kway Chap and gently roused Hubs from his sleep to let him know of my pending hunger. He said: "Aiyah, no car remote, go out now will wake the whole neighbourhood up." So being the nice wifey I aspire to be, I searched high and low for the car keys, retracing the things he did on Monday night before I went to the Halloween party. We had gone out without the original car key with remote because he just couldn't find it anywhere. Even on Tuesday, he's tried to search the rooms that he was in, but no luck. So after almost 20 minutes of searching all the places that his hand may have touched on Monday night, I found the key sitting under some bags on the upper shelf of the wardrobe. He was trying to help me find a bag to match my Halloween costume that day, and he must have left it there while searching. I happily walked to him with the key and waved it in front of him. His first reaction was to ask me where I found it. So I told him and then started on a mini naggy lecture about how he should retrace his steps properly and check every corner of the place he thinks it might. Apparently he wasn't quite so ready for the incessant talking and he raised his voice at me. I got SO pissed, I went on further saying that if he hadn't been quite so forgetful and careless, he wouldn't even have lost it in the first place and I wouldn't have needed to help him find it. I kicked the pillow which was lying at my feet and it landed straight on his face. He frowned hard at me, and I didn't care. I picked up my laptop and cigarettes and headed out to the balcony to start on this post. I am so positively pissed that it's not funny at all. I haven't been so angry for quite some time already. Recently he's been stressed up about this new ad campaign and I've been trying to be as accommodating as possible. I don't nag him for the little things which I usually do. I stay up with him til as late as 4am so that he can finish his work. He can't work properly without me, you see. If he was occupied with work, and I'm not there, he'll want to spend time with me, resulting in him not being able to concentrate. So I sit with him at McDonald's or wherever it is, trying hard not to get bored until it is time to go home. Today for example, I took the bus to his office so that we could have dinner and then go home together. Usually, I would insist that he come pick me up from Orchard Rd while I idle my time away spending money at the shops. But now, with his work stress and the house on the way, I really didn't want to stress him up further. As much as I can, I've changed the way I usually do things, like buying the drinks instead of him so he can sit down and rest. Do I get any Thank Yous from him? No. All I got was a bad attitude even though I was the one who helped him find the missing key. Sometimes I start to wonder if he even notices my changes for him. Then he comes out onto the balcony, saying monotonously: "You want to go out and eat? Don't want then I'm going to the office now." Bloody hell. Apologise first, can? I am still fricking angry lor. You waltz up here and expect to just let everything drop and go eat with you? Fat hope. Then started another lengthy self-explanation about how I've been nicer to him recently, and why I do it. Throw in a little lecturing about how he's been so distant from me because he's been so pre-occupied with work. I don't even feel close to him these days. But do I say anything? No. I try to be as supportive as possible with regards to work. I treat him good like a proper wife should. I stay up late with him and keep all my tantrums to myself. And nowadays, he can no longer say that because I sleep in late everyday, of course I can stay up and not get tired. I am working as well now. So we are even on terms of fatigue and stress. *bares teeth* I'm just so angry at how I'm being treated. I almost feel like I'm being overlooked and taken for granted. He'd better be nice all day. At the end of the day, we are still a normal squabbling couple like everyone else.
the 1st Halloween party
I've never been to ANY Halloween parties. About 2 years ago, I was supposed to go partake in the ghoulish festivities with my maternal uncle with all of us cross-dressed. In the end he had to go overseas for a business trip. =(
Last year I was overtly caught up with my mum's passing away.
This year, I finally made it to one party. The one at Momo.
It's not fantastic, but Hubs and I thought it would be a good chance to check out the crowd and music since we've never been there before. The music's quite fine, but the crowd... No comments. =p
We actually intended to swing by Zouk, but when we got there slightly before 1am, it was FULL HOUSE. True that we don't like Zouk, but it seemed to have the most happening Halloween party and we wanted to check out the new decor. Too bad we didn't have a chance. So we ended up in Momo.
Not alot of people were in costumes, which was quite a dampener because we were hoping to see personas of all kinds. Instead all we saw were the repeated outfits of people with red horns, wings, the mask from "Scream" (the LAMEST costume EVER), and lots of people dressed as themselves.
I almost felt like walking up to each one of them who weren't dressed for the occassion and asking them what they were dressed as. Then I would be completely smart-assed and answer on their behalf.
"Oh. You're dressed as your usual ugly/fat (or any other degrading term that suits them) self."
It's quite bad, I know, given the fact that I'm not too hot myself either. But seriously, Momo isn't all that cool at all. The young punks and Ah Lians who cannot dance or dress to save their lives populate the place to a degrading extent. I did see Robin Leong there though. But if you don't know who he is, it's fine. He's not that famous anyway.
If you're wondering what Hubs and I dressed up as, pictures tomorrow because my mobile is charging now and I'm shagged out from the activities from today. But I don't think I took any photos of our bodies. It's humanely impossible to take full body shots of yourself lah, ok?
