SEXPO lessons
SEXPO was lame. As said earlier. Given the uptightness of our governing officials, how can we expect kinky exhibitions like what they have in westernised countries?
I almost wanted to throw rotten eggs, and whatever foul-smelling things I could lay my hands on, at the stupid male emcee who was talking about what kind of bikinis women should wear. Hello? A man? Talking about women's figures and what type of bikinis they should avoid? The organiser definitely has NO BRAINS. And this emcee is not some Brad Pitt type of drool-worthy male, he's just some random Malay/Indian fella who speaks BAD BAD English and cracks LAME LAME jokes.
And the behaviour of Singapore men we saw at the SEXPO, particularly the elderly, seriously puzzled Hubs and I...
This photo was taken at the "House of Condoms" stall. At this angle, you can't really see the whole crowd, but lemme tell you, the number of people here aren't even half of the whole gang of curious pervs. Pity I couldn't take any photos of the massive crowd because it was so crowded that I only managed to take shots of random pervs' heads.
There were SO MANY MEN just crowding at the vibrator/dildo section. Almost HALF of the men were aged over 50! They were contenting themselves picking up and scrutinizing each and every interesting looking sex toy and then putting it back. Probably only 1 out of 20 men there bought something, and I can swear it's not the high-end expensive imported toys.
Like hello? Why are you all crowding there? Not buying then don't stand there and block the way and view of potential buyers, you perverted cheapskates. If you want to ogle at the sexy porn stars on the sex toy packaging, go download the videos online. They can move, suck, fuck and are usually naked throughout the video. And you can wank off as well. Go now and fuck off.
It just makes me wonder WHY these men are SO interested in the toys. Is it because they know that they suck in bed and are seeking help to pleasure their long-suffering women? And those uncles? Do they also want to improve their wifes' pleasure? Or are they just what we call "sua koo", wanting to see what these funny contraptions do?
These men look at sex toys like they've never seen them before, even though the whole Geylang and even heartland areas are littered with shops selling novelty items and sex toys. And seriously, our local men are too stingy to buy something which doesn't give them pleasure. The only thing they might buy are those rubber vaginas that aid in masturbation, which they probably still won't buy because others who see their purchases will think they don't have a sex life and that no woman wants them. Which is true, I guess.
In this picture, we have the majority of the men (read: elderly men who probably cannot have a regular sex life no more) on the left side of the photo who are rushing to collect (or should I say snatch) their FREE Vicon samples. Vicon is this vibrating condom that's sold in 7-11s and supermarkets. It's actually quite misleading because the condom itself doesn't vibrate, but the cock-ring that comes with it does. You're supposed to put on the condom, and then the ring. Switch it on, and VOILA! Vibrating cock! Pity the battery in the ring only lasts around 15 minutes max. But if they did make the battery last any longer, the company would probably run out of business cos no one would buy any new ones from them.
Think the product sounds amazing? Well, it isn't. Hubs and I tried it months ago when we chanced upon it at Mustafa. The ring is uncomfortable and it is quite hard to position the vibrating part of the ring directly at the clit to pleasure the woman. And Hubs says the vibrating makes his cock go numb after the session, which means the climax would have been less, erm, earth-shattering.
Anyway, back to the old men collecting freebies. Why would they want vibrating condoms? Even if they can still get it up, would their wives still want to have sex? Even if they can do it with other women (read: geylang), why would they want to pleasure them? Ewwww... It makes me shudder in utter disgust thinking about it.
I'm not saying that the aged cannot and should not have sex, but please make it less blatant. These men are just IN YOUR FACE trying to show that they still have active sex lives. But seriously, they DO show bountiful energy when running up to the poor exhibition staff to get their freebies. They really RAN. Not like the wind, but how often do you see packs of aged 50 over men RUNNING to collect free condoms? It really was a laugh.
In conculsion, SEXPO sucked. The organisers did a bad job including every mundane thing vaguely sex-related (but had nothing exceptionally sexual) in the exhibition, the decor was bad (if there even WAS any decor), the programmes were unexciting and the emcees were lousy. The stalls, I shan't even mention anything about them except PUI. I don't understand why only House of Condoms was the only sex shop there when there are BETTER stocked shops like U4RIA (pronounced Euphoria) in Singapore. Must have been that the organisers were arseholes that's why no one signed up for it. I heard from one of my friends who was working at the SEXPO that Oohtique had their goods impounded on the first day of the exhibition. Go to Oohtique's website and take a look, they have classy sexy stuff, not the sleazy types that House of Condoms have, and still their goods were banned. Like why?! Must have been some internal disagreement. We all know how "the people up there" can be biased bastards. Oohtique is run by a couple of caucasian ladies, so maybe that's where the biasedness came in?
If there is a next time for SEXPO, you people better put up some sexy programmes with less Malays and have more stalls that actually sell blatant sex products. Like IN YOUR FACE sex products. But judging by the horrid flop this year's exhibition was, I think this SEXPO thing better be banned from here on.
By the way, pics are here.
I almost wanted to throw rotten eggs, and whatever foul-smelling things I could lay my hands on, at the stupid male emcee who was talking about what kind of bikinis women should wear. Hello? A man? Talking about women's figures and what type of bikinis they should avoid? The organiser definitely has NO BRAINS. And this emcee is not some Brad Pitt type of drool-worthy male, he's just some random Malay/Indian fella who speaks BAD BAD English and cracks LAME LAME jokes.
And the behaviour of Singapore men we saw at the SEXPO, particularly the elderly, seriously puzzled Hubs and I...
This photo was taken at the "House of Condoms" stall. At this angle, you can't really see the whole crowd, but lemme tell you, the number of people here aren't even half of the whole gang of curious pervs. Pity I couldn't take any photos of the massive crowd because it was so crowded that I only managed to take shots of random pervs' heads.
There were SO MANY MEN just crowding at the vibrator/dildo section. Almost HALF of the men were aged over 50! They were contenting themselves picking up and scrutinizing each and every interesting looking sex toy and then putting it back. Probably only 1 out of 20 men there bought something, and I can swear it's not the high-end expensive imported toys.
Like hello? Why are you all crowding there? Not buying then don't stand there and block the way and view of potential buyers, you perverted cheapskates. If you want to ogle at the sexy porn stars on the sex toy packaging, go download the videos online. They can move, suck, fuck and are usually naked throughout the video. And you can wank off as well. Go now and fuck off.
It just makes me wonder WHY these men are SO interested in the toys. Is it because they know that they suck in bed and are seeking help to pleasure their long-suffering women? And those uncles? Do they also want to improve their wifes' pleasure? Or are they just what we call "sua koo", wanting to see what these funny contraptions do?
These men look at sex toys like they've never seen them before, even though the whole Geylang and even heartland areas are littered with shops selling novelty items and sex toys. And seriously, our local men are too stingy to buy something which doesn't give them pleasure. The only thing they might buy are those rubber vaginas that aid in masturbation, which they probably still won't buy because others who see their purchases will think they don't have a sex life and that no woman wants them. Which is true, I guess.
In this picture, we have the majority of the men (read: elderly men who probably cannot have a regular sex life no more) on the left side of the photo who are rushing to collect (or should I say snatch) their FREE Vicon samples. Vicon is this vibrating condom that's sold in 7-11s and supermarkets. It's actually quite misleading because the condom itself doesn't vibrate, but the cock-ring that comes with it does. You're supposed to put on the condom, and then the ring. Switch it on, and VOILA! Vibrating cock! Pity the battery in the ring only lasts around 15 minutes max. But if they did make the battery last any longer, the company would probably run out of business cos no one would buy any new ones from them.
Think the product sounds amazing? Well, it isn't. Hubs and I tried it months ago when we chanced upon it at Mustafa. The ring is uncomfortable and it is quite hard to position the vibrating part of the ring directly at the clit to pleasure the woman. And Hubs says the vibrating makes his cock go numb after the session, which means the climax would have been less, erm, earth-shattering.
Anyway, back to the old men collecting freebies. Why would they want vibrating condoms? Even if they can still get it up, would their wives still want to have sex? Even if they can do it with other women (read: geylang), why would they want to pleasure them? Ewwww... It makes me shudder in utter disgust thinking about it.
I'm not saying that the aged cannot and should not have sex, but please make it less blatant. These men are just IN YOUR FACE trying to show that they still have active sex lives. But seriously, they DO show bountiful energy when running up to the poor exhibition staff to get their freebies. They really RAN. Not like the wind, but how often do you see packs of aged 50 over men RUNNING to collect free condoms? It really was a laugh.
In conculsion, SEXPO sucked. The organisers did a bad job including every mundane thing vaguely sex-related (but had nothing exceptionally sexual) in the exhibition, the decor was bad (if there even WAS any decor), the programmes were unexciting and the emcees were lousy. The stalls, I shan't even mention anything about them except PUI. I don't understand why only House of Condoms was the only sex shop there when there are BETTER stocked shops like U4RIA (pronounced Euphoria) in Singapore. Must have been that the organisers were arseholes that's why no one signed up for it. I heard from one of my friends who was working at the SEXPO that Oohtique had their goods impounded on the first day of the exhibition. Go to Oohtique's website and take a look, they have classy sexy stuff, not the sleazy types that House of Condoms have, and still their goods were banned. Like why?! Must have been some internal disagreement. We all know how "the people up there" can be biased bastards. Oohtique is run by a couple of caucasian ladies, so maybe that's where the biasedness came in?
If there is a next time for SEXPO, you people better put up some sexy programmes with less Malays and have more stalls that actually sell blatant sex products. Like IN YOUR FACE sex products. But judging by the horrid flop this year's exhibition was, I think this SEXPO thing better be banned from here on.
By the way, pics are here.
Shelly breathed again at 1:47 AM
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