Saturday, August 27, 2005

to once again reaffirm that Zouk sucks

I finally kept my promise to GGYY by attending the Xotic Zouk event with her. And once again, I reaffirm that Zouk SUCKS. Maybe it just isn't my type of place. My place belongs with all the Mats and Minahs in the R&B/Hip-hop joints together with all the young kids. The music at Zouk-ish places are just not my groove tune. How to dance when every song sounds like the other?

The event itself was generally entertaining. There were lapdancers, pole dancers, exotic dancers in cages, and NONE of them were good dancers. Sheesh. They were all definitely local, mainly Chinese females incapable of gyrating and without pretty faces. I am not being judgemental. Some even had Bugs Bunny protuding front teeth. How to be pretty like that??

Thankfully the lingerie catwalk models were of excellent calibre. Just strutting up and down the makeshift stage exhibiting the provocative leather/lace get-ups designed by Xotic, they were exuding SEX APPEAL. Unlike those unconfident SG chicks who look nervous while supposedly dancing seductively. Well, the men, like most men who let their dickheads rule their human heads, were drooling away anyway. My Hubs, well, like most men who don't get turned on simply by pussies, was just bitching about the bad performance put up.

The people at Zouk are quite obnoxious, bumping into my poor GGYY all over the place without even saying "Excuse me" or "Sorry". Once again, I establish the fact that Zouk (and the crowd who frequents there) is seriously NOT my type. Or GGYY's for that matter.

Simply to put it, we are NOT going back there ever again.

It was a waste of time, effort and money. I don't evven understand why the entrance fee DOUBLES after 10pm. From a mere $12 for entry and 2 drinks per head, to a BLOODY FOOKIN $20 for ladies and $25 for men. Sheesh. I cannot even imagine how much they earn even though they only operate on Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays. Snobby place. Boooooo!!!!

Thursday, August 25, 2005

half-fucked in the middle of nowhere

Google Talk seemed like it was the perfect solution for Mac users who cannot do voice/video calls using the steadily improving MSN chat client. Mac users can now IM using Jabber-based Adium. If you're a lucky one who upgraded to Mac OS X version 10.4 Tiger, the latest version of iChat 3 can also allow voice calls between gmail users.

Pity I'm half-fucked in the middle of nowhere. I'm still on OSX 10.3, and I just can't seem to connect using Adium. Pui.

a general update of everything recent

I can't get Google Talk to work on my Adium. Not that I can do voice calls even if it works.

I've got to be less lazy and try to work it on iChat. But until the laziness wears off, I should put whatever little energy I can squeeze out into studying for my Advertising supplementary paper on Saturday.

I hate MDIS. But it just simply proves that money makes the world (or Singapore, to be more precise) go round. Non-profit organization my ass. And now that MDIS is moving ALL their classes to farfaraway Queenstown, lazy ass me will have even more trouble getting to school. The trouble being I don't want to travel all the way there.

After some sleep, I shall wake to wash more dirty laundry. Then I shall venture down to Tat Wan Building (approximately 15 minutes' walk) to check out the "branded warehouse sale". Anyone who wants to know more, just give me a call. =) I just hope it's not s huge sham. But at least I won't need to travel far to get there. Hubs gave me shopping allowance to go check the place out! *Heh heh*

Come Friday, I will hit Zouk with GGYY for Very Xotic. I admit. I hate the music at Zouk. But at least they're organizing something kinky and fun. I wanna go get waxed! Like Brazilian Waxed!

I am still down with stomach flu. Darn those viruses that cause all these viral infections almost everywhere possible. I am now like a walking balloon inflated to extreme proportions, just waiting to EXPLODE. Thank heavens the occasional burps/hiccups/farts release most of the unwanted flatulence. Utterly unglam information, but utterly true. I am but human. Therefore, I am still gross at times. =)

I wish for all the gas to pass (haha, pun not intended, but since it's here, well.) by the time I'm heading to Zouk. Can't feel very kinky-exotic-sexy if I can't even fit into my barely-there clothes. Damn you, gas!

I think I'm starting to sound incoherent. Haha. Must be the lack of alcohol in my recent days. And the waaaaaay overload of babies and pregnant women around. They are driving me nuts making me want a baby of my own. Hubs say must at least wait until our new house is here. Then we can make our baby under our own roof. Always better to be impregnanted somewhere you're comfortable with. Sounds wrong again. Oh Gawd. READ: "somewhere you're comfortable with". NOT "something".

I think I'm also being driven mad by all the insects cohabitating in this house along with us humans. Lizards, hordes of ants, cockroaches, flies, armies of mozzies. I hate ants. They go everywhere. And they attacked my tinful of yummy butter cookies even though I put the tin ON the fridge. They really do go places for good food.

Hubs has killed 2 lizards (one tiny, one HUGE), one cockroach and countless ants since last week. I hope he doesn't go to hell.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

handsome guys are almost always gay

Remember the age-old saying that women have had since the publicising of homosexual men?

"The good men are either married, gay or dead."

Damn it's true.

Another cute fella from the pop scene comes out of the closet. Who's left? And around me, I see wonderful men who are not EVER going to be interested to be one-half of a heterosexual couple. By "wonderful", I mean good-looking, sensitive, smart, charming, caring, and fun-loving. And permanently unavailable.

I look up at the stars and thank heavens that I've already chopped (reserved) myself a good gay man. *sinister chuckle*

orgasmic oral sensations

Sinful treats for today:

1) Three different types of desserts from Takashimaya's Beard Papa. Cream Puff, Fondant Chocolate and Chocolate Eclair. Of course Hubs and I shared the three, but nontheless, yummy sin. Rich warm chocolate running down my throat... Mmmmm... Even the non-choc fan had to say it was good.

2) Carl's Jr at Marina Square. I had a Western Bacon Cheeseburger. Thank God I didn't order the double. I would have to stuff myself to explosive limits just to finish that. Scary. But such a nice burger. =)

Now, when is Jack in the Box coming to Singapore? I've been missing their lovely thick shakes for years... I can't afford an air-ticket to fly to the States, so all I can do is cross my fingers and hope they come over here soon. We could do with some lovely shakes in our horrendous weather eversince MacDonald's decided to go healthy and stop selling milkshakes. I hate you, MacDonald's!! But at least they are serving Coke Light again recently. Without the lemon. *heaves a sigh of relief*

To top the day off, I think giving/receiving at least an hour's worth of oral sex would be nice. =p

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

sucky friendster

Am I the only one who experiences problems with the "new" and "improved" Friendster?

So what if you "can now upload up to 25 photos" when:
1) You cannot see the new photos even after you refresh your browser like a dozen times?
2) You cannot edit the caption because you simply cannot see the new photos?
3) You have problems viewing other people's photos?
4) You often get a 404 error?
5) It takes ages to load certain profiles?
6) your browser pulls an unexpected crash on you because you attempted to open several profiles in tabs?

Maybe Friendster just doesn't like me cos I'm not friendly. Or the improved version is just less Mac-friendly than ever.

Monday, August 15, 2005

from chocolates to corpses

Two movies over a weekend and both of them serving up extremely constrasting stories. Charlie and The Chocolate Factory and Land of The Dead are both entertaining films for me and Hubs, but a word of advice for the gruesome-intolerables: Do not watch "Land of the Dead" if you are not into screams, blood (coagulated, no less), ripping flesh, big guns, rotting mutilated bodies, cannibalism and horror.

Sitting in front of the big screen watching an print-to-screen of my favourite childhood book was like a dream finally come true after 14 long years. I remember reading the book snuggled up in bed and having all the chapters of the book translated vividly into moving images by the sheer power of my own imagination. And now, for it to be shown as a movie starring fantastic Johnny Depp, is like being as child all over again.

Kudos to Johnny Depp as the kooky chocolatier Willy Wonka. His ability to sink into such off-the-norm and slightly intimidating roles, like Captain Jack Sparrow of "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl", have been recognised by critics and fans worldwide.

On the other side of the twisted world, we have people (alive) killing people (walking dead). Still entertaining, but in a less colourful way. The story is simple: Zombies take over the world. Humans try to remove them. Zombies gain intelligence (to the point of being able to use machine guns). They eventually override the only "safe" zone in the States and kill the one mercenary man who is using the situation to earn big bucks. Zombies move on. Humans move on. Expect alot of blood, decapitation of humans and zombies alike, and gunfire.But I enjoyed it. =)

Thursday, August 11, 2005

celebrating our nation's birthday

In our country, this is how celebrations for the nation's independance goes about:

- The parade is held at a historical location where our land was first declared independant. Roads are blocked, and bus routes are changed. No thoughts were given as to where countrymen attending the ceremony were to park their vehicles, thus leading to nearby shopping centre carparks being full. Shoppers heading to the buildings then had a problem parking. (But as usual for the lazy countrymen, if you park 2 streets away, you are sure to get some empty lots since most of us can't be bothered to walk even a short distance.)

- Fireworks were released to celebrate. All is nice and grand, but never forget to give credit to your sponsors. During the voice-over, it is vital to bring up the fact that even though 3 times more fireworks are released this year, it is all thanks to the sponsors that the budget for the celebrations were still met.

- A carnival was set up at Marina South and fun activites were organised to encourage the participation of the people, but private vehicles are not allowed into the area. Please take the MRT in (and pay), or SBS bus number 400 or 400A (and pay only $0.39 after rebate), or the River Taxi (and pay $4) and park your vehicles, if any, at stated carparks (and pay at least $2 per entry on weekends and before 5pm on weekdays).

- As per yearly tradition, a new patriotic song is composed by local songwriters and performed by local celebrities. The proud product then will be played over and over again on the airwaves and broadcasted on TV so that everyone will know the tune and the words by heart. This year, Singapore Idol winner Taufik Batisah and local singer/actress Rui En provide the vocals for the song "Reach Out For The Skies". But can anyone hear what they are singing without the lyrics flashing by at the bottom of the screen? I know I can't. I just hear rhythmic mumbling.

- Are you sure our country isn't racist? Why are the patriotic songs always in English and Mandarin? Why don't they write Malay or Tamil lyrics to the same tune? Taufik is Malay, isn't he?

- In order to allow more countrymen to join in the festivites, celebrations were extended to 3 selected heartlands. There were "interesting" programs like gymnastic performances, 100-strong choir ensemble, capability display from SAF and Home Team (like our footballers are the best in the world), Bollywood dancers (who were not from Bollywood and actually included a Chinese Fiona Xie who couldn't dance to the beat and didn't remember her moves), games and fitness stations (so exciting! I can do it in my neighbourhood park too!), a Mobile Column (huh? a what?!?) rolling in the heartlands, and of course, fireworks. (Please remember to give credit to our kind sponsors again for keeping our budget within limits.) The heartlanders sure had a lot of fun!

I guess I can safely conclude that our nation's birthday and independance celebration was a HUGE success. In fact, our nation is SO great that shoe company Rocket Dog ™ has designed a women's shoe and named it "Singapore"! If you love your country, buy the shoes!!

It's actually kind of pretty... I know someone who might actually like them! Puny? Peeee-Ewwwwwwww-Neeeeee Graaaace.......

measuring happiness

How does one measure happiness?

Some may say that the amount of happiness one possesses can be generated through the numbers reflected in one's bank balance.

Some have been keeping track of their happiness via the communication and understanding amongst friends and family.

Some, well, they chart progress of their joy by the number of sexual conquests and experiences.

But ironically, the only way to truly measure your happiness is simply by being happy and comparing it to previous times when you were less of a joyful soul. Just to bask in the pleasure of being not upset and leave it at that.

Maybe it all sounds a tad lame. Maybe you don't even understand what I'm saying. But after being through rich and poor, family intact to incomplete, sexless to oversexed, it shows to be quite simple. You are only happy if you want to be and if you let yourself be.

Some may have all the riches in the world and yet live each day in sadness, loneliness or fear. Some who have their families intact and caring may find their family members too nosey or naggy.

In general, mankind has never really been able to live a lifetime contented and worry-free, simply because we seek a higher cause for ourselves. A need to be more valued and respected in terms of success measured in the eyes of others. If we just sit down, and count the ways we have excelled in our own ways, not comparing to others, then maybe we can achieve a state of bliss. A simple bliss within ourselves that come from self-contentment.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

maybe domestication is bliss

Like a prayer answered by Hell's Angels, I have been released from the metaphorical imprisonment of unneccessary dress codes necessary for work. The bloody irony. The company finally managed to hire a permanent staff, so the moment the fella came in, they reinstated me to my former glory of a slacker.

Well, the skies have not been kind, seeing how it has been raining cows and chickens for the past two days. This poor little wifey can't do shit except to stay and home and be domesticated. After much deliberation, she dusted the cobwebs off her Tai-Tai skills, and decided to hone them further...

Fresh clean clothes fit for a hubby!

Relaxation for wifey: MTV and Pepperoni Pizza. Ahhhhh........

Usually a good wife would not be so extravagant as to spend $15.65 to get agitated by the STUPID Pizza Hut staff when making her orders and then proceed to wait a painfully long 90 minutes for her dough frisbee to arrive, but then, Hubs said so. So I order lor. =p

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

absurdity of work(wear)

Why must companies dictate what their staff wear to work? What is the purpose of it?

We know that back in school, we were made to wear the cloned clothes (despite their ugly colour schemes and designs) for the sake of "unity" and uniformity. So why the need to adhere to dressing rules at work?

If I work as a sales or a high-ranking management staff who meets clients on a day-to-day basis, fine. I would need to upkeep the image of the company, and thus requiring me to dress formally and decently. But what if I'm just a lowly clerk or a call centre operator? I would never need to meet any clients, and the only interaction I would have with them would be through telephone, fax or emails. So why the need to conform to a dress code then?

I feel extremely disgruntled by the fact that even as a lowly $5.50 per hour temporary admin assistant in a small local electronics company, I still have to "dress for the occassion". What the fuck for? A month later, once my temp assignment is over, you guys won't even remember my name. So what kind of appearance do I need to keep up?

I don't get to pick up the phone, so nobody would even know that there's a Shelly who works here. I am almost dispensable, since I am only being hired as a temp. So why, why fucking why, control what I wear?

Naturally the rules are simple and pretty idiot-proof. No bikinis, no shorts, no sportsbras. Nothing that you usually wear around the house. No plunging necklines, no 7-inch miniskirts, no midriff-baring tops. Leave those skimpy pieces for the clubs. So why the FUCK can't I wear jeans??

Pui. It just makes my blood boil thinking about what to wear to work tomorrow.

16 months of being away from the working world has left me with nothing "suitable" to rot in the office with. Yes. Rot. Nobody really gives me any work to do around there, so I end up chatting with Hubs through MSN. How cool is that? A company that hires you at $5.50 per hour, just to go in from 8.30am to 6pm every weekday to chat on MSN. Woohoo!

So what the hell do I actually do there? Random things. They'll make me check on the status of orders. Or pass me a few orders to process by issuing invoices, purchase orders and delivery orders. Maybe if I'm really good, they'll give me something challenging like allocating stock and doing something called "charge out" where you consolidate some orders together (by some sort of order) to form packing lists for the store guys. I like doing that quite a bit.

Oh. And I'm currently the designated fax girl. I work with a fax machine so ancient, it doesn't even support multiple page loads. You start to build a really good relationship with it when you stand there for 30 minutes loading in the faxes page by page by page. If it likes you, it tries not to jam up the paper.

Well, so that's that. I'm gonna be there in that stinky industrial building until 26 August. All for the sake of having something to do that actually earns (and not wastes) money. I feel like I'm selling my soul. I swear I am NOT going to work in anywhere that requires me to conform to any redundant dress codes after this. *folds arms indignantly*