fucking pissed

Just when I got so angry in such a long time at Hubs, and wanted to blog my frustrations away, FUCKING Blogger dies on me. I keep trying to load the page and it just keeps saying "document contains no data". I don't think I can feel more pissed than this.

I've possibly thrown up the worst ever since my pregnancy ended, filling the loo to the brim with greenish liquid because I'd just enjoyed a Venti Green Tea Frappe prior to feeling nauseous. The bus ride has probably made it worse.

My feet felt so dead tired, due to what I don't know either, that I had to go to bed the moment I got home. I did no shopping, and I didn't walk long distances either, so I really have no idea what triggered the dead feet.

I woke up at 4.30am. Just woke up. Didn't get disturbed by anything. Moments after waking from my sweet slumber, I felt a craving for Kway Chap and gently roused Hubs from his sleep to let him know of my pending hunger. He said: "Aiyah, no car remote, go out now will wake the whole neighbourhood up." So being the nice wifey I aspire to be, I searched high and low for the car keys, retracing the things he did on Monday night before I went to the Halloween party.

We had gone out without the original car key with remote because he just couldn't find it anywhere. Even on Tuesday, he's tried to search the rooms that he was in, but no luck.

So after almost 20 minutes of searching all the places that his hand may have touched on Monday night, I found the key sitting under some bags on the upper shelf of the wardrobe. He was trying to help me find a bag to match my Halloween costume that day, and he must have left it there while searching. I happily walked to him with the key and waved it in front of him. His first reaction was to ask me where I found it. So I told him and then started on a mini naggy lecture about how he should retrace his steps properly and check every corner of the place he thinks it might.

Apparently he wasn't quite so ready for the incessant talking and he raised his voice at me. I got SO pissed, I went on further saying that if he hadn't been quite so forgetful and careless, he wouldn't even have lost it in the first place and I wouldn't have needed to help him find it.

I kicked the pillow which was lying at my feet and it landed straight on his face. He frowned hard at me, and I didn't care. I picked up my laptop and cigarettes and headed out to the balcony to start on this post.

I am so positively pissed that it's not funny at all. I haven't been so angry for quite some time already.

Recently he's been stressed up about this new ad campaign and I've been trying to be as accommodating as possible. I don't nag him for the little things which I usually do. I stay up with him til as late as 4am so that he can finish his work. He can't work properly without me, you see. If he was occupied with work, and I'm not there, he'll want to spend time with me, resulting in him not being able to concentrate. So I sit with him at McDonald's or wherever it is, trying hard not to get bored until it is time to go home.

Today for example, I took the bus to his office so that we could have dinner and then go home together. Usually, I would insist that he come pick me up from Orchard Rd while I idle my time away spending money at the shops. But now, with his work stress and the house on the way, I really didn't want to stress him up further.

As much as I can, I've changed the way I usually do things, like buying the drinks instead of him so he can sit down and rest. Do I get any Thank Yous from him? No. All I got was a bad attitude even though I was the one who helped him find the missing key.

Sometimes I start to wonder if he even notices my changes for him.

Then he comes out onto the balcony, saying monotonously: "You want to go out and eat? Don't want then I'm going to the office now."

Bloody hell. Apologise first, can? I am still fricking angry lor. You waltz up here and expect to just let everything drop and go eat with you? Fat hope.

Then started another lengthy self-explanation about how I've been nicer to him recently, and why I do it. Throw in a little lecturing about how he's been so distant from me because he's been so pre-occupied with work. I don't even feel close to him these days. But do I say anything? No. I try to be as supportive as possible with regards to work. I treat him good like a proper wife should. I stay up late with him and keep all my tantrums to myself. And nowadays, he can no longer say that because I sleep in late everyday, of course I can stay up and not get tired. I am working as well now. So we are even on terms of fatigue and stress.

*bares teeth* I'm just so angry at how I'm being treated. I almost feel like I'm being overlooked and taken for granted. He'd better be nice all day.

At the end of the day, we are still a normal squabbling couple like everyone else.