ironic love
Pardon me while I digest this weekend's events slowly...
Such is the beauty (and torment) of LOVE.
One moment it breaks you and tears you apart with such a strong and invisible force that you are almost breathless from all the pain. The next moment is filled with such sweetness and unexplainable joy that you feel as though you were floating amongst the clouds up in heaven.
I love and hate this feeling. This inability to be in control of my emotions.
We all grow up in life thinking that as we become older, we become more capable of controlling life's events. No more barking from the elders for us to do this, don't do that. Then we get hit by the most wonderful, and at the same time, the most puzzling emotion in human history. Love.
Parental and sibling love works very differently from the love between a man and a woman. (Not to be a heterosexual ass here, so I shall also state it as love between two genetically unrelated individuals. Man or woman, it doesn't matter.) We accept our family members for who they are, be it whether they were here before or after us. But when it comes to our prospective partners, we have ideals. We wish for them to act a certain way at a certain time, and even on occassions when they are incapable of performing the way we desire, we still hang on, waiting for them to "change".
Most of us who have been in relationships before would know that the best of us say that in love, don't try to change the other party. But who really listens? We want the ideal partner. Who doesn't? We want them the way we have dreamt of since our impressionable teenage years.
Sure. Year after year, as our dreams get dashed by one jerk after another asshole, our expectations of the next one that comes along becomes more and more achievable. Thus when even these simple requirements are not met, we get more disappointed than ever. But what can we do? We are drawn by an invisible force to compromise and to wait for our dream man, or woman, to be the way we wish they would be.
Some can wait for years, and still, this person never really becomes who we want them to be. The better of us wisen up and finally, often unwillingly, accept them for who they are. The ones who won't compromise their dreams (like me) move on to another partner who would hopefully mould themselves into who we want. If they don't, it means they don't love us enough.
I can finally say that after being in the dating game for 8 years (6 years in one long running relationship), I think I may have finally matured.
I want nothing more than to be able to see/smell/touch you each day in my life. Life, with its ups and downs, is almost tormenting without your presence there to cheer me on. I don't want to change you to fit my bill of a perfect husband/lover, unless it's a change that you want.
No one's perfect. Neither am I.
Don't let me make you feel like you should change yourself just for me.
Such is the beauty (and torment) of LOVE.
One moment it breaks you and tears you apart with such a strong and invisible force that you are almost breathless from all the pain. The next moment is filled with such sweetness and unexplainable joy that you feel as though you were floating amongst the clouds up in heaven.
I love and hate this feeling. This inability to be in control of my emotions.
--- --- ---
We all grow up in life thinking that as we become older, we become more capable of controlling life's events. No more barking from the elders for us to do this, don't do that. Then we get hit by the most wonderful, and at the same time, the most puzzling emotion in human history. Love.
Parental and sibling love works very differently from the love between a man and a woman. (Not to be a heterosexual ass here, so I shall also state it as love between two genetically unrelated individuals. Man or woman, it doesn't matter.) We accept our family members for who they are, be it whether they were here before or after us. But when it comes to our prospective partners, we have ideals. We wish for them to act a certain way at a certain time, and even on occassions when they are incapable of performing the way we desire, we still hang on, waiting for them to "change".
Most of us who have been in relationships before would know that the best of us say that in love, don't try to change the other party. But who really listens? We want the ideal partner. Who doesn't? We want them the way we have dreamt of since our impressionable teenage years.
Sure. Year after year, as our dreams get dashed by one jerk after another asshole, our expectations of the next one that comes along becomes more and more achievable. Thus when even these simple requirements are not met, we get more disappointed than ever. But what can we do? We are drawn by an invisible force to compromise and to wait for our dream man, or woman, to be the way we wish they would be.
Some can wait for years, and still, this person never really becomes who we want them to be. The better of us wisen up and finally, often unwillingly, accept them for who they are. The ones who won't compromise their dreams (like me) move on to another partner who would hopefully mould themselves into who we want. If they don't, it means they don't love us enough.
--- --- ---
I can finally say that after being in the dating game for 8 years (6 years in one long running relationship), I think I may have finally matured.
I want nothing more than to be able to see/smell/touch you each day in my life. Life, with its ups and downs, is almost tormenting without your presence there to cheer me on. I don't want to change you to fit my bill of a perfect husband/lover, unless it's a change that you want.
No one's perfect. Neither am I.
Don't let me make you feel like you should change yourself just for me.
"Loving you not an obligation. It is a privilege."
Shelly breathed again at 4:46 AM
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