Thursday, April 21, 2005

of gambling, entertainment and our government

It is so like our government to give anything and everything acronyms.

Housing Development Board = HDB
Ministry of Manpower = MOM
Ministry of Education = MOE (Still often mistaken for Ministry of Environment)
Ministry of Environment = ENV
Singapore Bus Services = SBS

Singapore Mass Rapid Transit = SMRT

And now, our latest edition to the extended acronym family... IR (Integrated Resort)!!

Like what Nash said "Gambling den then just call it GD lor... Why must call it funky names like IR??" It is just just a tradition for our government to make things sound and look good.


-- Imaginary speech by Mr Tan Lui, Minister of SMEs (Snatch Money Enterprises)

No, no. You are mistaken lah. We are not providing a place for the "giau kwee" (hardcore gamblers, direct translation from Hokkien would be "gambling ghosts"), we are proposing a facility that promotes wholesome family entertainment. The casinos are just a form of providing 35,000 jobs to aid our economy and also to "snatch business" from neighbouring gambling lands like Malaysia's Genting and Macau.

You see ah, Singapore is so small, so if we only have a casino and nothing else to keep the children busy, those rich adults won't come here to spend money. Then we will lose business from families. We must try to earn everybody's money. Only then will Singapore become a properous country mah.

Then we have two IRs so that if they get bored of one, they can go to the other one. So like that, they will spend more time (and money) here mah. Look on the bright side. Living expenses here are so high that we don't really think our own people got enough time and money to become "giau kwee". We only want to target tourists' money ah. Our own money all just revolve around ourselves no fun lah.

One people, one nation, two gambling dens. Together, we can con all the money out from tourists. If our own people stupid enough, we can also earn their money. At the rate our government is so "ngiao" (stingy) we will confirm rig up all the machines and tables so that very few people will win and a lot of people will lose.

-- No offence intended to any government officials (but we all know that it's true lah) --