realisation of affinity

There is this song that I was utterly in love with since I was 14.

Naked - Raining on the sky

I never knew why. I just know I felt for that song even though back then the lyrics seem to make no sense at all. Even up til last year, the lyrics still made no sense to me. Until last night...

I was going through my old songs, and was checking up on all the lyrics so I could sing along. Then the lyrics of my favourite song seemed to mean something.

It was about a jaded and broken girl who would live in her dreams. And the song was a promise from a guy who wanted to give her all he could. And my affinity with the song was understood. After 8 long years.

I am that girl. My depression came in when I was 14. Around the time when that song was first released. My BPD came in when I was 17. That explained why I would always listen to that song when I was upset and images of having a happy life with a wonderful man would come to mind.

This was why.

I remember crying when the PC crashed and I lost that song. The group wasn't a popular one. In fact, you can call them a one hit wonder. It was close to impossible to download the song and no CD stores carried their album. I just broke down.

Finally there was one bugger with that much loved song, and I kept the PC on for 3 days straight just to download the song. The other user was in the States and he was using the slowest snail speed connection ever. But it was worth it. I've kept that same copy of MP3 from then til now. And that was in year 2000.

This song is my medley. A story of my life as a short musical.