combustion to insanity

The day's events just blew up in my face.
As usual.

Did I expect too much even though I was asked not to?
Is it something that I can change?

Some people go through their whole lives with a certain expectation of everything. They set goals for themselves and others. They aim to achieve in this certain goal through this particular avenue. When they fail to, they blame themselves. Some, being extremely successful in all their ventures, refuse to admit defeat and try pushing the blame to others. When things go wrong too often, their minds go awry. They start to get depressed. Some eventually fall into a mental disorder. Depression.

In times like this, they need supportive people around them. Friends, family, colleagues. If that element is lacking, they fall deeper into the abyss of their own mentality. They start thinking that they are unimportant in this world. That people don't care. That no one will even notice if they die or disappear. And they're usually right.

So many of those around us are fair-weather friends. They come to you when you are healthy, wealthy and happy. They wish to share whatever goodies you have with them. They want a piece of your heaven.

When you get down in the dumps, no one is free to pick up your call. They suddenly want nothing to do with you. They don't ask you out no more. They want no part of your hell.

This was how I was being treated.

Now, thanks to huei, Wanzhen, GGYY and Fiona, I feel a tad more normal. In all my 22 years, I finally have girlfriends. Chicks to bitch with, shop with, and to simply just hang out with. Thank you girls.

I also have friends like Marco, May, Thiru and Rasheedah who are constantly there for me when I'm down. (Times when they are working, or having irregular sleep cycles due to insomnia notwithstanding.) Thanks guys. You are a lovely bunch.

My friends came a bit too late in my life, but better late than never. Just hope everything picks up from here on... *cross fingers and pray hard*