Transformation complete!

Apparently as time goes by, one gets more and more accustomed to his/her unique way of reacting to certain situations. As for me, I always tend to go through transformation. Physical and mental.

This time round, the mental state was at its most complex state ever. The existence of dualistic thinking never made things easy for anyone. Yet, due to exposure to such complexities over and over again, I have learnt to deal with the matter more efficiently.

Fuck the constant mental battle. Fuck all consequences of my decision. I can no longer give a flying fuck about what others might feel towards what I justify to be a worthy move.

I smoke all I want. I drink all I want. All in all I live for myself, and if we are all meant to search for our happiness, then I have found my eternal bliss amongst the alcoholics and nicotine addicts. Temporarily escaping from the daily hassle of thinking.

The quest of this pursuit in love is something that I have set my mind on. I will wait. Indefinitely. However, that doesn't mean that my life will be put on hold through this presumably long process. Should someone walk up to me confessing his love, I may accept it. I may not. We are all here to provide some sort of comfort to someone else. If I can make someone's life better, then why not? Yet, if I end up breaking someone's heart, why not too?

There are events in life which are pre-determined. To break or mend hearts is something beyond my control. You come to me with love in mind. How much I can achieve in that particular aspect is not always within my jurisdiction. I may just come and go like the wind. I may stay long-term. I do not know.

All I know now is that I am all alone in my battle against the world and all the elements that it decides to bestow upon me. I shall stride on confidently because I know that nothing much in life can bring me down. I must be strong to wait for the return of my angel. I take each day as it comes. Not looking too far into the unforeseen future. Planning or no planning, life still has the tendency to take things in its hands. I react when the situation calls for it. There. That's the new me.